Welcome to Session Seven of Enhancing Your Marriage! This online study is based upon Judy Rossi’s study of the same name. All quotes, unless otherwise noted, will belong to her.
We have a lot of practical questions to ponder this week and some heart changes that will take place.
No marriage, regardless of how healthy it is, is devoid of pain. ~ Judy Rossi (pg. 125)
Every marriage has burdens. No marriage is perfect. Even if you *think* the woman at church with the smile and handsome hubby are perfect, think again, my friend! But what we do not want is to dwell on the negatives in our marriage. We cannot “fix” our husbands. They are flawed just as we are. Allow the Holy Spirit to do His work. And YOU need to, just as I did, confess to Jesus and repent of any efforts you have attempted to change your husband.
You need to do that….
After you do that, give your husband to the Lord. Trust Him. And give Him all of the short comings of your husband. In fact, print out the form below, find a quiet spot, just you and Jesus, and pray over these lists as you write them out.
“The truth is this: there is no circumstance bigger that God Almighty. Nothing is hopeless. Trust God. Believe Christ. Will your new-found direction change your husband? Maybe. But it will change you…” (pg.129)
Let’s read some scripture!
The servant is YOU. How many times are we supposed to forgive? What was the debt owed to the Master? When your Master confronted you about your debt, what did you do? Once you left, what did you do?
That servant in the scripture *went out and found* the one who owed him. Do you let go of the offenses your husband has committed? When your husband apologizes, how do you respond? When the Master heard about what you did, how did He respond?
What do you think “from your heart” means?
What makes forgiving your husband difficult?
For each scripture below, think through the truth of forgiveness. Think about personal insights and the personal impacts of each. Forgiveness is a decision.
May the Lord continue to work in our hearts to forgive fully and love completely.
Time to Forgive
***This is very IMPORTANT!***
Now you need to take time to forgive. Return to your lists from section one. Hand it all over to God. Here is a simple prayer you can use:
“Father, I forgive my husband for __________________.” (Name it specifically and aloud.)
“I will no longer judge my husband with regard to that fault.”
“I will no longer condemn my husband for that fault.”
Do this verbally. It is so powerful!!
WARNING: Satan wants you to remember everything and forgive nothing. He will allow your feelings to take over if you aren’t on guard.
REMEMBER: God is your witness!! And He is rejoicing over you and is on your, and your husband’s, sides. He wants you to improve your marriage!!
Through Your Eyes, Lord
Get a clean sheet of paper. Make a list of your husband’s GOOD qualities, special attributes, and strengths. Afterwards, thank God for each quality.
Ask God to help you see your husband through HIS eyes. “When you praise God for the good qualities in your husband, you’ll begin to be ‘transformed by the renewing of your mind.'” (pg. 139)
Here is a list of practical thing you can do NOW to enrich your marriage:
1. Tell your husband you love him at least once a day.
2. Tell your husband about one of the qualities in him that you like every day.
3. Once a week, do something that you know he will like.
4. Recognize something that is important to him and then do something thoughtful for him.
5. Express your commitment to friends and family, showing your loyalty to your man.
6. Talk about concerns with your husband using “I feel…” statements instead of blame, sarcasm, or criticism.
Now you need to think of all the ways your husband has blessed you. Click on the image below and print out the sheet. Prayerfully fill it out and watch your husband change before your eyes.
Friend, pray for your man. God has blessed you with him. Though he is not perfect, God will use him.