I wrote this last October as my husband and I finished up the interviewing process to adopt through DSS. I thought I’d share it with you. I don’t know if we made the right decisions. We are on the waiting list. The waiting has been easy and hard at the same time. There are moments when I say, “God, where is my baby and let’s get going on this!” And then there are other moments of sheer panic when I think, “Change is coming!” Anyway, here is what I wrote the day after our DSS interview:
I’ve sat here for a good 5 minutes trying to think of some flowery, poetic way to speak about adoption and how our interview went this week. But I can’t. It was hard. And we made some tough decisions.
Our DSS interviewer is wonderful. She was gracious and honest with us. Which we needed.
For most hard, intense situations, until you are in the thick of it, you have no idea how you will respond or what you can handle. So for my husband and I to fill out a 3 page check list on what types of “behaviors or conditions” we would be willing to take into our home was extremely difficult. On one hand we have 2 young children to protect, and on the other hand, if we were to have a 3rd biological child with ANY of these conditions, we would all adapt and love the child anyway.
Therein lies the struggle. We have the opportunity to choose, yet how selfish shall we be? God still welcomes His sons and daughters despite the conditions they are in. We are adopted into the kingdom of heaven with crippled and sinfully disgusting souls. And yet He runs to us, swings us up into His arms and plants a huge kiss on our cheek.
Since we have 2 young children some items on the check list were no brainers. There is no way we could accept a paralyzed child or a child with fetal alcohol syndrome. There are just too many issues that go along with those conditions.
But what about allergies? Sure. I might have to make adjustments, but we can do that. Diabetes? Again, we can make adjustments. Birth marks? Sure. What about blindness? Deafness? Heart defect?
I started welling up at this point of our conversation. We said we would take any child who might have mild forms of these conditions. And here’s the kicker…
My husband said, “We would be willing to take a child who might only have a few weeks or months to live. Because even he needs a family.”
I added, “That would be the hardest thing we would have to endure. But we’d make it.”
Our interviewer stared at us. “Seriously?” she said.
Of course we pray and hope for the best case scenario. But I must be willing to surrender my will to my Father’s.
May He be glorified.
He is my El Shaddai and Adonai; The All-Sufficient One and Lord and Master.
I am His adopted child.
It was a hard afternoon.
So Reader, sometime in the future, maybe I’ll have a post about bringing our new child home.
We shall see what the Lord has in store.