It’s been hard keeping up with this study, so I apologize to those of you who have been diligent with it. 🙂 “I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to spend the next forty years of my life learning this lesson.” (pg 132) And things have hit the fan so to speak during the last 3 weeks and things are beginning to turn around. I’ve lost about 5 pounds and I can tell some of my eating habits have changed. This is a slow process, and I guess in the back of my mind I keep thinking, “Come on! You should be seeing results!” and I have been disappointed. (Which leads to more eating…)
In this section of the study, Lysa asked: If you could capture your woundedness in a photo, what would the image be? Here’s mine.
When I took this picture 2 years ago, I looked at it with pain in my heart. It describes me perfectly when I allow my insecurities to flare up. Being an introvert can be hard. I feel isolated. Alone. Always waiting. Looking on with hope. Wishing someone would reach out and join me in relationship and life experiences. I think the worst thing anyone could do to me is to purposefully leave me out or ignore me. And this happened a lot when I was growing up. I remember days when I chose to eat lunch with the librarian just so I would have someone to be with.
This whole section of the study was based on Philippians 4:8 and had to do with “parking our minds” in a better place. I was to think over my life and identify those times and experiences that were True, Noble, Right, Pure, Lovely, Admirable, Excellent, and Praiseworthy. Then I was to think about the things in my life that have these qualities NOW. Everyone has hurts from the past. And everyone has a choice as to how those hurts affect them.
What gift of compassion can you give someone based on the wounds from your past? Because of those wounds, you and I, are uniquely equipped to understand and help others who are in similar situations. Rather than dwelling on the wounds which make me eat, I need to be others focused and see where God can use me to minister to them.
BUT I do need to make good choices and I know that I must acknowledge that I cannot control myself when tempted by certain foods. I do not have the freedom to eat whatever I want. Therefore, I must turn and flee from temptation. “My brokenness cannot support that kind of freedom.” (pg 121) I have to acknowledge that I need boundaries. So I must stay on my eating plan and follow the directions with it. I have no choice if I want to see weight loss results.
And so far I am plugging on. “I’m on a journey with Jesus to learn the fine art of self-discipline for the purpose of holiness…Deciding ahead of time what I will and will not eat is a crucial part of this journey.” (pg 125)
So at this point I am living meal by meal. I’m trying to stay within the boundaries, which includes exercise and Bible study. And I continue to recognize that I am not alone and I must totally rely on Jesus to be successful with this adventure.