I’ve had a few small victories that I want to share with you, Readers. I hope that you will be as blessed by this forward movement as I have been.
After the death of my father-in-law, I ended up gaining about 5 pounds when all was said and done. It was not a fun time and I was a little bummed by the weight gain because I really am heavier now than I have been in 2 years. So I did part 3 of Made to Crave knowing I needed to be denying myself and praying that I would be successful with at least something.
My husband gave me the gift of going to the grocery store by myself after church one Wednesday night. I was tired. I was hungry. And I went to the store knowing all of this. This was not good. But I told myself…I want to be good. I don’t want to rationalize. I think, realistically, I could buy a chocolate milk and be good and happy with that decision and allowance. So I walked into the store with the mind set of only getting a chocolate milk to drink on the way home.
I came out with the milk…
…and Reece’s miniatures.
I opened them up and began to eat them on the way home. No guilt. I deserved these! I had worked hard today! Besides it doesn’t matter what I do, the weight is NOT going to come off!
“Deny yourself!” …2 miniatures stopped halfway up to my mouth.
I stuck them back in the bag, which was still about 3/4 full. And here they have sat for about 3 weeks.
I haven’t opened them. This is a victory.
Since then I have stepped on the scale hoping and praying for the needle to go down. No such luck. I’ve been eating better. I will confess I have not done well with exercise; I am hit or miss with it. But “Deny Yourself” floats through my mind all the time.
A week ago the kids and I went to the grocery store and in a moment of weakness I bought Nutella. I love Nutella! And it is one reason why I am the size I am today! When I got home I heard, Deny Yourself! And this is where it has been since:
You know, society says that once I lose weight I’ll feel good about myself…I’ll have friends…I’ll be liked. But it’s all a lie. Being smaller won’t mean life is better. I need peace in my heart now…before and while I am losing weight. What I need to do is stop filling myself up with food and start filling myself up with scripture so I can fight the lies which circle around me. And the thing I realized this week is that even though I am strong in the Lord, even though I know a lot of scripture, I still need more of Him. I have to work through my salvation. The Lord is continuing to teach me to be totally dependent upon Him and not myself. I am to empty myself so He can fill me. I must decrease, so He might increase.
There are different things that trigger my eating binges and I am determined to fight those urges with God’s Truth. The verses I am going to be using right now are: “And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” ~ Ephesians 3:17-19
I’m going to write these verses in my scripture memory notebook and I will carry them close to me so I will have my sword of the Spirit when I am weak.
…AND I’m down almost 3 pounds this week. 🙂
**Please take a moment to check out Audria’s posts over at The Well. She is reading the book, Made to Crave, as I go through the video series.**