I sat in the rocking chair watching her. This little girl who has moved into my home. How did we get to this point?
My husband and I weren’t even married yet when we had the conversation. We decided that we would have children. Whether they were biological or adopted, we would have children in our family. We also discussed that even if we DID have biological children, we would probably still adopt.
Then we went through 4 years of infertility. That was not fun. I started looking into adoption at that point. Overseas, private, foster adoptions.
Five years, and two biological miracles later, we seriously decided to begin the adoption process. It was October 2010 and my husband and I went through the Department of Social Service’s training for adoption. We received all of the paperwork that would be needed from us and afterwards we filled everything out which began the process.
Then we received the packet of “real” paperwork. This took us until April 2011 to complete and turn in. Not because it was a large amount, although it was, but because we were busy with life and every day normal-ness. Busyness.
Once this paperwork was turned in and processed the investigations began. We were interviewed. Our children were interviewed. Our house was inspected. And then finally we were told, “Ok. Your name will now be in the pool for consideration.”
And we waited.
At first it was exciting! We were going to adopt! I started a Facebook group to keep people up to date on what was going on. I told then when we had the investigations and inspections. Eventually everything quieted down.
On a day in January 2013 I remember posting in the FB group: “We’re taking the crib down. I guess we’ll put all of the baby stuff away.”
I wrote an email to our adoption coordinator on the third Friday of September. I told her to remove our name from the pool. It had been so long of a wait. I needed to move on. I deleted the Facebook group telling everyone we had decided to not pursue adoption since it seemed that we weren’t going to ever be given a child.
The next Monday the phone rang. My husband was on the other end telling me that the adoption coordinator had wanted to see if we were serious about pulling our name because we had just been chosen as a potential family the Friday she received my email.
And so here we are with a little girl in our home.
When people see us, or hear what we have done I receive different comments. I hear:
You are so amazing to be doing this!
Oh, this little girl is so lucky to be a part of your family!
God bless you!
You have done a wonderful thing!
What a blessing you are!
You are an inspiration!
I don’t quite know what to think about such words. My life is boring. The kids and I do our thing each day. Daddy goes to work. We work around the house. We go on vacations. (Although the trip to England WAS pretty exciting!) But everyday life is pretty routine. Nothing out of the ordinary ever really happens.
I am an ordinary disciple who is following her God. That’s all.
We will have good days. We will have not-so-good days. From what I understand we’re kind of in a “honeymoon” phase of adoption right now. This could last 3-5 weeks. Then “real life” hits. I hope when that happens I will be surrounded by God’s people who can pick me up when I can’t do anymore.
Emotionally, I am a mess. Can new adoptive moms have hormone swings too?!? I don’t know what to think and feel. I don’t FEEL excitement or ooey-gooey love. Love is a choice right now. This baby is a stranger. She is not even legally my child yet. This seems like glorified babysitting 24-7. And yet, I’m supposed to be a parent. She calls me, “Mama.” She smiles sweetly when she wants something and throws a fit if told, “no.”
I have Jesus in my heart which means I have been adopted into God’s family. I don’t think Jesus died on the cross because He was feeling ooey-gooey love for sinful people. I think He loved us with a choice knowing that His actions were what we needed in order to live a free life from sin.
And so I will take each day, each moment, at a time. I will put one foot in front of the other doing what is needed for my family. We will eventually get into a new routine and our lives will become boring again. We’ll be ordinary.
But being powerfully used by an Extraordinary God.